Tuesday, September 14, 2010

listening to swedish music looking at my photos, wishing i was back.

84 days to go, i think.



http://www.flickr.com/photos/bestill_d

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Now playing: avner - bed för mig
via FoxyTunes

Monday, September 6, 2010

Note to self + ramble

have transferred all of my thoughts onto twitter. its a bit more boring but quicker.
right now my life consists of

uni work
seeing friends twice a week, friday and saturday night. sometimes both, sometimes neither.
my dog recently bit me, it changed our relationship to be honest, i trust him a lot less and see him more as a dog then as my friend. he is no longer my favourite being in the world.
i know have none.
it is like i lied to myself, telling myself that he loves me, that he could be an adequate companion with in my life, as humans are so unreliable and he has no choice but to stay and love me, or else he gets no food.
he is the definition of what it means to be a living organism, spend all your time doing everything you can to get some food and reproduce. although as his balls are currently, and have been for some time, detached from le pénis he has a lower desire to mate.
my favourite song is Ellen dritter gesang (ave maria)by Franz Schubert, some composer who is, according to at least one fan, in some respects better then Beethoven considering the difference in life span. I wish to be killed to that song, or at least have it played at my funeral.
i started watching mad men, ive been meaning to for some time now but never got into it on tv, it is actually quite good, only watched one ep and already a fair amount of character development and the foundation for conflicts has been laid.
i started talking to my long time ex-ex-ex gf, ie 3 gfs ago, via email, which included long conversations, until she got fired, or something then she stopped replying i didnt mind so much and in fact forgot about it after the first day. i like her and would definitely sleep with her but she has a bf and dosnt want me, perhaps she is slightly lonely and just wants a good friend, cos as she explains she has a few ass hole guy friends. most of them i had to meet or hear about at some point in our relationship.
her new bf looks similar to me in some respects, i dont know what that says other then she has a certain taste in guys. i think she is just one of those people that needs a bf, to give her something to do, someone to talk to at any hour of the day, but isnt this what most women want?
i would not know, i have not conquered the female species as such, i have merely tapped into the resources and most times come out scaved and suffering, with lengthy periods of morning.
my life is going to change dramatically very quickly and i dont know how i feel about it. last time my life went through change it took me a year to get back to 60% of what it was. this included, crashing my car and getting a new one, getting vacation work which meant i could spend 2 months in europe the following year, broke up with my gf, got a new one, she broke up with me, started Roaccutane acne medication that FUCKS you up in the head, not in that order.
my new change will include a new job, where by i will no longer be living off $100 a week but a fair bit more. i am (hopefully) graduating from uni and leaving that life behind. study is really the only way of life i know, i have technically been studying for my entire life span 20+ years.
choke, is a book i have been reading, it is pretty cool and only the second book i have every attempted to read by my own will, even then the first one was to impress a girl. problem is, it is about a sex addict and that is difficult when you havnt had sex in, say four months, and havnt had A grade sex in two years now.
im going to europe at the end of the year, with some uni friends, shud be interesting how long i stay with them, my idea of travelling and having fun is slightly different, but at least i can tell ppl im going with someone, because the conversation is extended if i tell them im going by myself, as they go into why, how, and basically its cos they cudnt do it by themselves, most people cant go to the shops by themselves, let alone another fucking country, with a language they dont speak and thousands of miles away from friendly faces. but i think that is the joy of it.
i want to go sky diving next year, it is high on my things to do before i die. i also need to buy a motorbike, jsut so i can get my adrenaline glands emitting chemicals into my brain again.
life in general is boring. being a realist, i am enjoying my life, esp in compassion to people i know and unfortunate people of the third world.
im shutting up now. going to sleep before i watch another ep of corner gas, mad men or community.

ave maria

my favourite song for all the wrong reasons

technology


the beauty of cameras with facial recognition