i thought about this cos theres an engineer at work who has a star trek mug that is clearly from 20 years ago. and then we were in a meeting iwth him and his phone went off and it was the star wars theme song. brilliant. and if you saw this guy he talks and laughs like a geek. nice guy tho and good engineer. but its just funny, filling the stereotype of geeky engineer.
but the real story i have to tell is about someone else at work. who sits in our office and surfs the net all day calls people ordering glazed pots or camping equipment or talking with debt collectors and does work for 30 minutes. hes about 60 and retiring in a year or 2 so really dosnt give a shit. fair enough i say.
anyway, he is interesting and does plenty of other things like listening to music with head phones so loud everyone can hear it, which is bad enough but then he starts singing, nice and loudly and of course badly.
his latest saga has been to do with fixing an imported scooter from italy that is special in some way, cos he cant get a license for it since he has high blood pressure. ill keep you updated on that one. cos he has pictures glued onto blue card board in the office, similar to a kid making a collage of his favourite cars.
his favourite saying is "to cut a long story short" which he uses in almost every story he tells, on the phone in person, to work mates, glazed pot sellers and debt collectors. always makes me think, thank god hes not telling the the long version, fuck.
anyway, he often disappears for periods of time, sometime admitting he is going to buy a cd from a shop. but sometimes its meetings. but sometimes he comes back after 15-20 minutes and he walks in panting like he just ran 20 metres -pause- i forgot to tell you his appearance. he is a 60+ year old man from north england with a thick jordy accent even though hes been here for ages. he is pretty short, about my shoulder height, though ive never stood that close too him, but no higher then my chin for sure. he has a very big, very fat, very round, beer belly. maybe hes just preparing for his retirement so he can sit on the couch for days without having to move - which would be cleaver. but clearly he does not eat very well. in all aspects. content wise as well as mannerism wise, but this is another benefit of his large belly/beer gut (cant really say belly since it pretty much includes his chest), which he uses to catch food that falls out of his mouth as he eats, a disadvantage many fat people have due to their habit of eating too fast.
he has also admitted that he is what you would call an english 'mod', or 'stompy'. which apparently means they wear doc martins, long leather coats, rolled up jeans, round glasses and an odd hat or some sought. ok -resume- once he comes back panting like he went for a jog, he sits down re arranges some of his things while saying 'ok' to himself several times. although i have not thought about it a lot (i swear) i have always assumed it is cos he has spent the last 20 minutes on the toilet and i have always stopped my imagination from going on further.
however, the other day i went to the toilet. i wanted a break and just sit in silence for a few minutes, maybe take a quick nap. while i was in my cubical relaxing, on my phone about to wish my mom happy birthday on facebook, a man comes in. and with out going into any details proceeded to complete the task with great effort and a lot of noise. similar to that of someone at the gym lifting too much weights.
i got up and left after about 5 seconds of realising who it was. i came back to my desk and waited, roughly 20 minutes and sure enough he returned panting more then myself after the 20km ride to work.
needless to say, i had now confirmed why he often returned panting. and concluded that he must eat too much red meat. maybe i should subtly drop hints that one should eat less meat and try this new age thing called exercise.
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